One Caregiver’s Story: A Look Into Caregiving
A level of frustration is inherent in Alzheimer’s and dementia , not just for the person who has it, but also for that person’s caregiver(s). Until recently, caregivers were advised to “correct” a dementia patient in regard to actions not considered “normal”. Today a gentler approach has superseded this wisdom. For example, a dementia care patient, forgetting that he is retired, may begin to dress for work. So nowadays, caregivers are always told to ” go along ” with the patient’s sake, help them pick out a tie or what-have-you, and then slowly move the discussion to other matters until the fact that he must go to work slips his mind. I have one friend who is a licensed CNA, and an in-home caregiver with over a decade’s worth of experience providing long-term care to dementia patients.
Rita’s voice appeals its rythmic Irish phrasing and accent, her laughter and graying red curls burst forth from her small frame in spurts of abundance. I had the chance to talk to her about her own personal care philosophy. When I mentioned the above situation, she responded, “You have to let them get dressed for work. You have to let me them go through their moments.” Her philosophy is definitively one of diversion, but she says she came across this naturally, and told me, “The man I look after now is a person. There are times when he’s going through something or having a moment, but he’s always a person.” She then stressed the importance of eye contact as she finds dementia patients are ” in their own world and they are clinging onto ideas, it is often hard to distract them from that so you need to make sure they really see you.” She went on to explain, ” It can be difficult because they are so strong-willed.” I asked how her patient was that evening. She said, ” He is absolutely wonderful. I’m holding hands with him right now,” and I could hear her mouth breaking into a smile even over the phone line. This vacillating between great joy and stress seems par for the course for many homecare aides. Caregiving is truly an interdisciplinary field where science, the mind and the heart have to combine for any real success to occur.
Rita’s patient is medicated and his aides overlap at different points in the day to help him with walking. One aide walks in front of his walker and the other on the back. Once during this exercise, a family member was talking about an issue in the family business, and although normally the man would be completely engulfed in the act of walking, he exclaimed in a jovial manner, ” Well, it’s my dough anyways! ” to everyone’s amusement. I also asked Rita how she deals with a job that can be rewarding, but can sometimes be quite tiresome, both physically and emotionally. She mentioned attending social events, in her opinion, nothing relieves stress as much as a good party with friends. She also made mention that even her patient was able to attend the odd family occasion, but big crowds stress him as do unfamiliar faces. I inquired as to whether he remembered her, after all, she works there five days a week. ” Oh now, I began working here too late. He doesn’t know my name, but, you know what, he is always happy to see me and calls me a nice lady. “
Tags: adult day care, caregiving, long term care insurance, senior care